


A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Candy (Please)

by Saucery



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Adorable, Adorkable, Alternate Universe - Canon, Backstory, Comedy, Costumes, Cultural References, Cute, Funny, Gen, Gen Fic, Getting On Each Other's Nerves, Halloween, Humor, Kid Fic, Kid!Stiles, M/M, Mutually Assured Frustration, Pop Culture, Pre-Slash, Random Stiles is Random, Silly, Slice of Life, Snark, Teen!Derek, Threats, Trick or Treating, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-01
Updated: 2012-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-17 12:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saucery/pseuds/Saucery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You do <i>not</i> trick-or-treat at the Hale house. You just. Don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Candy (Please)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [2pookyimpalas](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=2pookyimpalas).



* * *

 

"Um, I." Stiles stares up at the giant - leathery - person. Boy. Are teenagers supposed to be that built, though? And that stubbled? He's like a yeti. In a leather jacket. "Trick or treat? I mean, arroooo?"

The Hale boy just glares at him and, like,  _flings_  candy at him. Like Stiles is a -

"Hey! I'm not a dog!"

"Then why. Are you dressed like one."

"I'm a wolf!"

The guy freezes. "What," he rumbles, "did you say?"

"Uh." What had dad told him about staying away from psychos? Oh, yeah. If you meet one, run like mad. Stiles's feet seem frozen to the ground, though. Move, damn it! "You don't like wolves? Too bad. Wolves are majestic and awesome and - and I got teased for being Red Riding Hood last year, okay? Thought I'd even the - the playing... board. Thing." Derek's eyes are narrowing. "God, don't kill me."

"Derek!" calls a female voice from inside the massive and creepily echoey Hale house. "You're not traumatizing little kids again, are you? I can smell the terror from in here!"

"Wait," says Stiles. "She can  _smell_...?"

"Shut up, Laura," the guy - Derek - calls back. And returns to glowering at Stiles. "Get out," he says, and bares his teeth.

Which aren't pointy, or anything, but still. Teeth.

"Or I'll rip your throat out. With my - "

"Teeth?" Stiles finally manages to stumble off the porch. "Yep, pretty sure I filled in  _that_  blank just right. Y'know, I'd do much better at those English tests if the questions had me filling in the blanks for death threats from total freaking weirdos."

"And don't," Derek growls, right over Stiles's babble, "ever show your face around here. Ever. You got me?"

"Gotcha," Stiles squeaks, more like a squirrel than a wolf, but hey, it's not like he hasn't already blown his cover. He's  _ten_. He's  _allowed_ to blow his cover. Ain't like he's Jason Bourne, or anything.

Under the combined repelling force of Derek's crossed arms and lowering eyebrows - seriously, it's like a tractor-beam in reverse, they could use that in Star Trek, it'd make getting rid of the Borg  _so_  much easier - Stiles scrambles away from the Hale house, clutching his bag of candy to his furry chest with his clumsy paws, panting and overheated in his costume, long ears flapping around his face.

He gets to Mrs. McCall's car in time to hear the door of the house slamming shut, and he slumps into the back seat in relief, leaning against Scott.

"What's up?" Scott asks, cradling his own sack of sweets in his lap. The only reason he hadn't come with Stiles to trick-or-treat (and be terrified by) the Hales was because he'd sprained his ankle, two stops ago, and has been slowly eating his catch to console himself.

"Everything okay, honey?" Mrs. McCall glances back at him.

"Great," Stiles gasps. "Just. Yeah. Great. Got some, uh. I got some. A lot. Of things. Stuff. Sugary things that are. Sugary. What're they called?"

"Candy," says Scott, and gives him a considering look. "You okay? I thought you wouldn't forget what 'candy' meant even if you hit your head on a rock and lost all your memories."

"Gee, thanks," Stiles says, drily. "I'm fine. I just - that guy sucks."

"The guy who came up to the door? Who was that?"

"Derek Hale. Class-A - "  _asshole_ , Stiles can't say, not with Mrs. McCall within hearing distance, because she'll tell him off and then tell  _on_  him, and then his dad will ground him forever. " - meanie," he finishes, inadequately. Jesus, that word isn't enough to express the epic jerkitude of Derek Hale. He hopes Derek chokes on some random radioactive candy and dies.

"Oh-kay," Scott blinks, and passes Stiles a pack of peanut M&Ms. He knows they're Stiles's favorites. "Here."

"Thanks," sighs Stiles, and sags against the seat, nudging Scott's shoulder with his. "How's your sprain?"

"Eh, it's doing this throbbing thing. It's like having a marching-band in my ankle. It's not too bad."

They sit there, in the back seat, devouring Reese's chocolate bars and M&Ms and trying not to spread too many wrappers around them on the way back to town, because Mrs. McCall will absolutely make them pick up every last wrapper, even if it's Halloween. She's kind of hardcore, sometimes.

So's Derek, apparently. All the time.

Yeah, right, Stiles will stay away. He's coming back here, next year, with an even more gruesome costume. A - a menacing costume. Something that'll make  _Derek_  quail, instead.

In fact, he might just come back tomorrow, to make a point, because it's still Halloween weekend, damn it, and he  _can_. And even if it means doing Jackson's homework over the fall break, he's gonna borrow Jackson's kickass $100 costume with the real-fake holographic blood and the lit-up bones and scare the bejeezus out of Mr. 'I'm A Macho Yeti' Hale.

The look on Derek's face, alone -

Heh.

Stiles can't  _wait_.

* * *

  **fin.**

**Author's Note:**

> Like my writing? Check out [my blog](http://saucefactory.tumblr.com/)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Candy (Please)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024784) by [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins), [Saucery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saucery/pseuds/Saucery)




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